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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?